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Don't.
by Amy May Hardemon
content warning: sexual violence, assault, rape and rape culture
Don't. is a new work for Solo Clarinet which explores the systemic issues of sexual harassment and assault that so many people grapple with every day. 1 in 5 women who attend college will experience some form of sexual harassment or assault while in school. Every day a young person is left to put the pieces of their life back together after trauma. They fight silent battles reconciling the future threatened by assault. This piece asks the question: what happens when we continue to not talk about it?
The work will be around 5-8 minutes long and utilize advanced clarinet techniques such as multiphonics. The piece will be premiered by Wren Whalen in Spring of 2027. Consortium members will receive early access to the completed work and have their name listed in the program.
“I survived because I remained soft, because I listened, because I wrote. Because I huddled close to my truth, protected it like a tiny flame in a terrible storm. Hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. The journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. Do not become the ones who hurt you. Stay tender with your power. Never fight to injure, fight to uplift. Fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom. Fight because it is your life. Not anyone else’s. I did it, I am here. Looking back, all the ones who doubted or hurt or nearly conquered me faded away, and I am the only one standing. So now, the time has come. I dust myself off, and go on.”― Chanel Miller, Know My Name: A Memoir
From the Composer
When Wren Whalen first reached out to me as a collaborator and trusted colleague in taking on a project of this scope and character, I understood the necessary weight and powerfully abrasive character that the piece needed to channel. Don’t. is shorthand for the range of interconnected experiences of rage, fear, sadness, paranoia, depression, and damage that I feel, felt, and will continue to feel as a survivor of rape and sexual violence in support of the community of survivors I’ve come to know as friend and family. With statistics of sexual violence and rape reaching as high as 26.4% affected female undergraduate students, 21% affected gender-nonconfirming undergraduate students, and 13% affected students overall according to RAINN’s report on campus sexual violence, there are undoubtedly many people in each and every one of our lives that has been impacted by this directly. As sonic art, I felt liberated to make choices which lends the performer their own agency to be expressive and negotiate with the material itself in performance. This freedom extends to utilizing techniques meant to distort the sound, such as applying additional pressure on the reed or flattening the tongue on the reed, resulting in a fluid and indeterminate performance that puts emphasis in the present moment and in the transformation of sound itself. Don’t. is not to be programmed lightly nor without consideration.